This is the sample report of 6andMe a fictional online service that produces a diagnosis for 25+ widespread social media related pathologies from the online content you consume and share.
Systrom’s Anxiety (SA)
Systrom’s Anxiety is a feel of having to capture and share moment for the fear of not being able to get to live them again. It happens in situations when one has to decide whether a moment is best enjoyed in the present tense or preserved for posterity online.
Cloud Syllogomania (CS)
Like many people, you have a tendency to compulsively hoard in the cloud documents, photos, music, videos, discussions, emails, or any other data formats. However, when reaching storage limit you fail to organize and discard large numbers data even to the point of causing significant clutter and impairment to basic operation of a software, computer or mobile device. This hoarding behavior is often unwanted, imposed by online services and can become distressing.
Online Tachylalia (OT)
Your have a tendency to share social content fast, frenetically and very frequently, so frequently that it becomes impossible for your relatives, friends, colleagues and contacts to follow you online. It may be exhibited as frequent streams of rapid posting without prosody leading to online social rejection and disdain.
Profile Schizophrenia (PS)
You suffer from personality disorder that emerges when losing control of multiple accounts and profiles on social networks. Profile Schizophrenia (PS) becomes latent when you start to notice gaps and inconsistencies between the information that you share online. For instance a you might develop different personalities from your life biography on LinkedIn and what you share on Facebook, your World of Warcraft characters and your Twitch videos.
Online Monophobia (OM)
You feel alone in online social networks. You might have relatively too few online contacts and receiving low amounts of contact requests, likes, comments, reblogs or retweets. Many people with this fear feel awkward and uncomfortable on social networks. It is related to Online Athazagoraphobia that is fear of forgetting or being forgotten on social networks.
Overshadower Syndrome (OS)
In this form of a judgment disorder your mind blurs the social etiquette of knowing too much about somebody else from the information available on the Web. That behavior often leads to uncomfortable social and cultural situations when too much knowledge on a person is gathered from the deep use of search engines and social networks.
Storage Claustrophobia (SC)
In moment of bandwidth restrictions, abusive price of mobile service, or limited cloud space you notice an extreme fear and feeling of being confined to the limits of a specific data plan or storage system.
Six Degrees Jealousy (SDJ)
You feeling or show envy of an online contact for receiving more attentions in forms of “likes”, “favorites”, “comments”, number of contacts or the klout score. Six Degrees Jealousy is often a reaction of teenagers to a strong social pressure and fear of not belonging to a community or tribe leading to Online Monophobia (OM).
6andMe was prototyped in 2014 as part of an exploration on the anxieties, obsessions, phobias, stress and other mental burdens of the connected humans.
Like any other information technology revolution, social media provoke new types of functional stress anxieties and fear. This is a design fiction to provoke discussions on innovative social media interfaces, platforms, algorithms and design patterns that do not uniquely focus on speed, the “now”, and the accumulation of “moments”. Social media that inform, surprise, remember, provoke but without begging for our focus or attention.